DozieSays: The Kind Of President We Deserve

I have faith in my country Nigeria. Not earth-shattering solid unyielding faith, but faith nonetheless. Faith in the Nigerian people, who are resilient —you’ll never fully appreciate this quality until you go to the U.S, U.K or South African Embassies —intelligent and hardworking amongst other things; surviving despite a system that’s rigged for anything but survival.
I have faith in Nigeria, it’s people, and the possibility of a future that’s deserving of the resources the country is endowed with, but not with it’s present crop of leaders. Definitely not with it’s current President, Goodluck Ebele(?) Jonathan.

Say what you must, rationalise anyway you can, but the immutable truth is that the Nigerian President has failed his people. Our President has failed us, more than anywhere else in his fundamental duty to keep the Nigerian people safe, the electorate that voted him into power on the premise of elaborate lies and celebrity-studded adverts that must have thinned the country’s purse —come to think of it —by billions of naira.

You can say that all the front-page problems of the country: the bombings, the maiming, the kidnaps, are all the handiworks of the President’s detractors and political opponents, but what about the President’s role in all this?

Leave a cut untended and it becomes a sore. Left longer it would fester and spread, becoming more destructive with each passing minute till the bone has to be cut away or the entire body dies. That’s a very good analogy of how the Boko Haram menace came to be and where Nigeria stands now as a country. Had Mr. President met these crop of deluded homicidal zombies with the requisite reactionary force at the onset, does anyone think we would be where we are now? Does anyone honestly think Nigeria would have been in this circle of doom?

Over 200 girls still remain missing after two weeks, but what does the President do? What has he done, the Commander In Chief of The Armed Forces of The Federal Republic of Nigeria? (Such a long title for the personification of inadequacy and ineptitude).

Mr. President shouldn’t only act, but should be seen to ACT. And if it waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. A sitting duck, I tell you! That’s what we elected into Aso rock, a sitting duck. And this has been proven time and time again.

I’m really restraining myself here, from going too much into details with Mr. President’s failings, because this is really not about starting a debate or haggling with anyone over something that’s clear to Cobhams Asuquo, so I’d just state my wish list for the kind of President I —and all of the Nigerian People, I should think —deserve:


    This quality cannot be overemphasised. It takes an intelligent leader to stay ahead, to know when to act and when to cool his heels. It takes intelligence to know who should be on your cabinet, and who shouldn’t; what advice to take and those to discard.
    It takes an intelligent man to know when to open his mouth, and when to shut his gutters; when to be firm and when to be kind.
    It takes an intelligent President to know when to reassure the people, and not to insult them. When to stick his head out for members of his inner-circle, and when they aren’t just worth it.
    It takes a wise man to find a good woman; it takes a wise, intelligent man to find and attract an intelligent woman, and it takes an intelligent President to know when his First Lady should be seen, not heard.


    Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, true. That’s why no one should wear the crown who isn’t prepared for unease. And it takes a responsible President to realise this, that he has to take responsibilities for his actions and his failings, and not sugar-coat the bitter, ugly truth as though by so doing he could make it any more palatable.

    A responsible President should know when to admit that he’s missed the formula, that he’s gotten it wrong, and is ready to make amends, to make the wrong things right.

    A responsible President knows the charge on him, and never forgets that the will of the people is placed firmly on his shoulder. A responsible President never takes this for granted, or trivialises it.

    A responsible President never forgets that the people’s mandate is everything.

    A responsible President doesn’t downplay a problem, rather he tackles it.

    A responsible President would not rationalise his failure, and adamant refusal to rise from it, with side-by-side comparisons. A President takes charge, because that’s what Presidents do, that’s what he’s elected for; that’s what he has a one-billion naira food budget for per annum.
    A President should not make flimsy excuses.

    Above all, no responsible, right thinking President says on National Television —and I quote: ‘Ordinary stealing, and people would say it’s corruption…’ Huh?


    I want to see my President on TV, and think to myself: yeah, that’s my President. I want to hear my President speak and nod, even when I don’t entirely agree with him, not flinch and cringe.

    A PRESIDENTIAL President should command respect, and not look like he’s about to bolt from the room when he’s surrounded by pressmen. He should be a symbol of reassurance, not look like The Penguin (Batman anyone? Cue: silly hat) in distress.

    My PRESIDENTIAL President when he addresses the country, should speak like he knows what he’s saying, not have words fall out of his mouth like someone with Tourette’s Syndrome.

    My PRESIDENTIAL President would always stay smart and classy, and have a classy First Lady on his arm, not a burdensome butt of jokes —and most recently, an actress unworthy of an AMAA nod.

    My President should be effin’ Presidential!

  • P.S: For all of y’all who know me personally, if after publishing this post y’all don’t hear from me then know I’ve been kidnapped by the SSS. Y’all please come to my aid o: #ReleaseCIAXON —sorry, Dozie. LOL.


    Add yours →

    1. Lmao! OK Dozie this is soo on point and funny…particularly that part about a President being a symbol of reassurance and not lookin like The penguin in distress…Lol! And did u say Tourette Syndrome? Boy u should be arrested….for speaking the truth actually.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Lmao! OK Dozie this is so on point and very funny… Particularly the part about a President being a symbol of reassurance and not looking like The Penguin in distress.. lol. And did u say Tourette Syndrome? Boy u should be arrested…for speaking the truth actually.


    3. The S.s.S wud trully come for u after this its a nice write ma dear but I wnt u to also look at it frm a point of view of”if I were in his shoes,would I have done better” I am not entirely in support of GEJ as he is fondly called but I don’t entirely agree with u on some issues being that he’s a civilian and this northeners do not seem to want his presence seen or his voice heard hence d insurggencies we experience God Help us….if I where Cobhams Asuquo I will sue u for using me as a comic-relief”LMAO….nice write!!


      • Well, I voted Goodluck into power —ok, no I didn’t, but majority of Nigerians did. He’s our President, not a faceless “The Northerners.”
        And if I were in his shoes, God knows I would have done better. I’m intelligent, responsible, and I can be effin’ presidential. But I’m not his position, and I don’t ever want to be.
        He chose that position and we helped him along with our mandate. Let’s stop making excuses for failure and ineptitude, guys. It’s leading us nowhere.


    4. Nice Piece…. I’m also tired of hearing his supporters crying that there are saboteurs in his government, APC or in the North. True, there are detractors bent on making him fail, but for sakes, he’s the president and has the presidential might at his disposal. if there are moles or detractors, let him root them out and stop whining. he’s weak and thats why these boko sponsors are not afraid and are daring them at every opportunity, And his body language is not even threatenning. I want to see Jona on TV looking at the camera with a severe gaze and saying with a baritone voice or something ” We would make sure that the sponsors of this act would be dealt decisively and severely, no matter how long it takes. They shall not escape the full might of the law………..”
      NB: A man that cannot control his wife or household cannot be expected to control his cabinet

      Liked by 1 person

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